Child Withholding Poo? How Personalised Hypnotherapy Recordings Can Help With the Fear

If your child is withholding poo, you may feel as though you have tried everything. Once any medical issues such as constipation have been properly addressed, there can sometimes be another part of the problem to consider: the fear, anxiety, or learned pattern around going for a poo. This is where a personalised hypnotherapy recording may help.

I work with children and families all over the world, and one area I am increasingly contacted about is stool withholding in children.

More recently, I have also been very kindly recommended by parents within the Movicol Mummies Facebook group, which has brought even more families to me who are struggling with exactly this issue.

And I completely understand why parents reach out.

When your child is frightened to poo, it can very quickly start to take over family life. You find yourself watching for signs that they need to go, asking whether they need the toilet, encouraging them to sit, negotiating, reassuring and worrying about when they last went.

Before you know it, poo has become a very big subject in your house.

Why is my child withholding poo?

There can be many reasons why a child starts withholding.

Sometimes it begins with constipation or one painful poo. Your child remembers that experience and naturally doesn't want it to happen again.

Sometimes it starts around toilet training, an accident, a change in routine, or using an unfamiliar toilet. And sometimes parents genuinely have no idea why it started.

What I often see is that even when the original physical problem has improved, the fear of doing a poo remains.

The brain is incredibly clever. It learns from experience and tries to protect us. If a child has experienced pain or fear when going to the toilet, their brain can make a very simple connection:

Pooing hurt before, so I need to stop it happening again. They feel the sensation in their tummy, become worried, and tighten their body or hold on. The longer they hold, the more uncomfortable things can become. And so the cycle continues. The psychological side of poo withholding. This is the part I work with. I am not trying to make or force a child to poo. Quite the opposite. I want to take away some of the pressure and help their brain stop treating going to the toilet as something frightening. With hypnotherapy, we can begin to change the associations around those sensations and help a child feel safe, calm and confident about listening to their body.

For a young child, I don't sit there talking about subconscious patterns or psychological responses. We use their world. Stories, imagination, favourite characters, adventures, superheroes, animals and magic.

To them, it can simply feel like listening to a lovely story created especially for them. Behind that story, however, I am gently working with the patterns that may be keeping the fear going.

How does a personalised recording for poo withholding work?

Every recording I create is completely personalised to the individual child.

Before I make it, I find out as much as I can about them. I want to know what they love, their favourite characters, television programmes, toys, animals, colours, songs and stories. I might ask about their family, pets or favourite places.

I also find out what has been happening with their poo withholding and, importantly, the language they use at home. I then bring those things into the recording.

One child might go on an adventure with a superhero. Another might float through the clouds, visit a magical library or discover a clever control panel inside their mind. We might imagine turning the worry down and the confidence up. We might let worries float away in balloons. We can help their tummy and brain become a brilliant little team again.

Every child is different, which is exactly why I personalise the recordings.

Breaking the child poo withholding cycle

Ultimately, I am trying to help create a new response.

Instead of:

I feel something in my tummy → I am frightened → I tighten → I hold it in

We are gently working towards:

I feel something in my tummy → I notice it → I am safe → I relax → I let my body do what it knows how to do.

It isn't about constantly talking to your child about poo. In fact, sometimes reducing the attention and pressure around toileting can be helpful. It is about helping their mind and body begin to respond differently. 

What if my child falls asleep listening to their recording?

Parents often contact me and say, “Angela, they fell asleep. Is it still working?”

Please don't worry. If your child becomes very relaxed and drifts off while listening, that is absolutely fine. I don't want parents testing their child afterwards or asking, “Did you hear this bit?” or, “Can you remember what Angela said?” There is no test.

I would much rather the recording became a lovely, calm part of their routine without any pressure attached to it.

Can I help if I don't live near you?

Absolutely.

I work with children and families across the UK and around the world, and personalised recordings work particularly well for families who aren't able to come and see me face to face.

Everything can be arranged remotely.

I gather detailed information from you about your child and what has been happening, then create their personalised recording for them to listen to at home.

We also have a progress call so that we can talk about how things are going and any changes you have noticed.

Hypnotherapy and Movicol for poo withholding

It is really important to understand that I am working with the psychological and emotional side of stool withholding. Hypnotherapy does not replace medical assessment or treatment.

Constipation and stool withholding can have physical causes and consequences, so if you are concerned about your child, please speak to your GP, paediatrician or another appropriate healthcare professional.

If your child has been prescribed Movicol or other medication, you should continue to follow the advice of the healthcare professional looking after them. I don't advise parents to change or stop medication. My role is to work alongside appropriate medical care by helping with the fear, anxiety and learned behaviour surrounding going for a poo.

Frequently asked questions about children withholding poo

Why does my child hold their poo even when they need to go?

There can be several reasons, but sometimes a child has learnt to associate going for a poo with pain, fear or discomfort. Holding then becomes their way of trying to avoid that feeling, even though unfortunately it can make the problem worse.

Can hypnotherapy help if my child is scared to poo?

If fear or anxiety is contributing to the withholding, hypnotherapy can be used to help change the child's emotional response and encourage feelings of safety, calmness and confidence. I always look at the individual child rather than assuming every case is the same.

What age can a child listen to a personalised recording?

I work with children of different ages and adapt the recording accordingly. For younger children, everything is kept simple, imaginative and story based.

Does my child need to understand that it is hypnotherapy?

No. Particularly with younger children, it can simply be their special relaxation story. They don't need to analyse it or understand the therapeutic techniques behind it.

Can you create a recording if we live outside the UK?

Yes. I work with children and families all over the world, so distance isn't a problem.

Helping your child feel safe enough to let go

If you are living with stool withholding, you will know that it isn't “just going to the toilet.” For some children, there can be real fear attached to it. Once the physical side is being properly managed, it can be worth looking at what their brain has learned about pooing too. Because if the brain has learned, “I need to hold on,” we can begin helping it learn something new:

“I'm safe. My body knows what to do. I can let go.”

If you have found me through the Movicol Mummies Facebook group, thank you to everyone who has recommended me and shared my work with other parents. I genuinely appreciate it.

Could a personalised recording help your child?

Yes, if your child is struggling with poo withholding and you feel that fear or anxiety may now be part of the problem, please get in touch.

I offer a personalised hypnotherapy recording created especially for your child, using the people, characters, stories and things they love to help them feel safe, calm and more confident about listening to their body and letting go.

You don't need to know whether hypnotherapy is the right option before contacting me. We can simply have an informal chat about what has been happening, and I can explain how I may be able to help.

Get in touch with me here to find out more about personalised recordings for children. www.angelacainhypnotherapy.com